still obessed

Today I got a 98% on my econ exam. I feel so embarrassed. I wanted 110%
Two days ago I got a 93% on my anthropology exam. I hated it. I wanted at least 95%
Over the summer when I realized my GPA was 3.7, I contemplated transferring universities so my Flight classes wouldn't transfer over and my GPA would be 4.0

it's not going to matter in heaven.

The idea in the minds of everyone against my choice in social work is that my skill sets are capable of "greater" callings. Most with genuine interest for my well-being warn me that I might starve or come to hate my life after 3-years of a soul-sucking human services career path. "Why are you doing social work? Are you bad at math and science?" my old supervisor said.

Also in my friendships with international students, I learned that for many school systems, students take a big exam and that score determines what major they can do. So if I score very high I can do physics or science, but if I score not so high, I might do arts or language, etc. wow..

Met a Boy Yet?

So I didn't know how awkward of a Facebook status this would've been, but I was home this weekend and near the very end my mom giggily asked me if I met a boy yet. I said no very normally, but I felt startled and perhaps a bit repulsed. I never in my life imagined that my mom would be expecting me to date a guy. Maybe she doesn't want me to end up like my gold-digger cousin or my other cousin who feared old age and spinsterhood and married the first guy that came along. Boys exist in my social sphere. If something was supposed to have happened.. it's he, who hasn't met me yet.

I am not your burden, and You are not mine

If I had a daughter, I would name her Cella [chel-uh] Jiang Paternal Name. I would say to Cella Jiang, "My beautiful daughter. You can be anything and I would always love you. You could be a janitor if you really want. As long as I can feel you are glorifying God with your life, I would support you with mine. I will mop the floors alongside you with my wrinkled hands. All because God is what matters most.

You can attend whichever school, work whatever job, earn how ever much money, because I am not your burden and you are not mine. You are my blessing, and my blessing is to show you how our Father has taught me love."

I just bawled my eyes out at our local grocery store.