looking through old high school classmates' news feed on facebook.. just a reminder of capitalist society. everything's a race and I'm losing.. maybe I already lost

Single Eggroll

My aunt asked me if I dated anyone yet in the car-ride home from work. I said no. She asked why. I said it's gross. She asked me if anyone likes me. I said I don't know probably not. She tells me about her co-worker's son. Her co-worker has been creeping on me and wanted her to give me a photo of the son. My aunt was casually asking me if I'd be interested as she described the son's family, age, education, job, wealth.  Hah, I felt disgusting at myself. I hate those things.

ugh.. I hate myself.." I thought.. "Have I succumbed so low to this?" I hate it. I hate it. It's gross. It's disgusting. ew ew ew. it's like someone peed on me or something.

My dad's mom and dad are dead to me. Close enough to forgiveness.

lost in direction

I feel like now that I failed something that was very largely my identity, I don't really have the faith that I can ever complete anything. So everything was a lie? My personal statement. My scholarship papers. My ice breaker answers.

love affair between breeze and bare skin

God is so good to prepare for every little detail. If our distance from the Sun were too little, seas would evaporate, earth would melt; too much, we would freeze like a grape. Even the hairs on our heads are placed to give us proper insulation and protect our cranium from feeling the damage of sun burn.

so beautiful

Just spent a weekend showered with love, attention, great food, cat, and sweet American grandma grandpa.