A lot of times, I feel like I am that woman. And so many more times, I am so thankful God has been so patient with my stubborn mind and just my denseness. It took so long for words' meanings to really sink into my heart. God, so many instances, has just swooped down and saved me from my problems. And so many times, God has been so gracious that He closed the doors that would have led me away from Him. He has been protecting me, and letting me grow. It took me five or six years, but roots are finally growing in. There are roots! Hallelujah!
As I laid in my bed pondering about God's will, I asked a question I always ask, "God, where do You want to use me? Where do You want me, Lord?" 'If it isn't aviation, I would quit immediately!', I thought. But then I thought about all the shame I'd feel, going back to my family and friends and telling them I quit, I gave up. And then having to take extra courses to make up for them. And because God has so obviously shown me that the Holy Spirit is with me, I wonder where God wants me. I was His messenger.
Before, I would cry about it because I didn't want to leave aviation and it made me worried to not know where God wants me. Now, I am still a little worried. But the idea has latched onto me, I think. The possibility of working in ministry. Then I should major in something else, because if I don't plan on becoming a pilot, aviation will just suck all the money out of me. God, I am as dense as the women on the well. Please make it so obvious to me where You want me. To be honest, my heart is facing that ministry option. All I need is God to say "Yep." Please, God, say "Yep."
If God doesn't say Yep, and I don't have His blessings, if that isn't in His will, then it could go very wrong. I need to entirely rely on the Holy Spirit if I were to evangelize or give sermons or teach workshops or whatever else. God, please show mercy on me again, as You already have time after time. Say "Yep or No"
No comments:
Post a Comment