A Revealing Day

Today I guess was supposed to be a terrible day. If I didn't have God and if I didn't know Jesus, I might have said today was the worst day of my life and I might have never ever stopped crying and I might have just died from hating myself.

But through all the unfortunate things that happened today, I still felt God's grace. As long as I take a step back, and as long as that step is far back enough, I can see God's incredible mercy.

I woke up at 4:46am today. That is special, because in my rush yesterday night for today's flight I had forgotten to set my alarm clock for 5am. If I hadn't suddenly burst out of bed at 4:46am, my alarm wouldn't have rang until 8:10am. By 8:10, I would have been late for my first class and I would have been 10% complete in my flight planning for my 10am flight.

After my 8am class, I rushed back and packed everything to go to my car to get to the airport as soon as possible... That is until I discovered a flat tire! It was super flat.

I had to wait for the bus. But I got to do my devotionals and really trust that God is with me. No matter what happens, God is with me and I should be comforted by that. Even if I were late, if I missed the whole thing if I woke up at 9:30am for goodness sakes, God is still with me and He still loves me and I should be comforted by that because none of those things really mattered as much as I made them up to be.

I'll skip a whole bunch of what happened next, but just believe me that it was embarrassing and it was so stupid of me. So incredibly stupid, and I risked the lives of other students and possibly my instructor's job in today's flight. I was a danger in the air. I started to fret in the plane, and things just went downhill. If I had calmed down and if I had just relied on what I was trained to do, everything would have went exceptionally well.

But the best part of tonight, maybe was talking to my dad on the phone. Talking to him and crying and him saying it's ok.. you're still learning. And I saw my roommate. I thought, 'she must have loved her dad this much.' How incredibly hard it must be for her. I can't even imagine that the summer after my freshman year, I would lose my dad. She is so strong. I think I would cry myself to sleep every other night.  I know she misses him, I know she loves him. I know he loves her.