Day Off

I think today is my day off, but I didn't know what to do with myself.

You get the measure you give. Lord, help me invest in deep and meaningful friendships. Would my life be filled with vibrant colors of people.

dəˈspīzed

Growing up, I thought I needed to prove I was someone among everyone around me. To my family, my friends, and my peers-- I needed so badly for them to know that I was something and that I was special. Sometimes even to the point where I thrived in making others feel small so I could feel bigger.

Since Jesus made his love known to me, God has challenged me to surrender all those things I found my identity in-- my grades, my school, my accolades, degrees, money-- whatever I once thought would bring me esteem. Now I am home, with family, friends, and peers. They pity me. I am shamed. They think I'm crazy and reckless. Perhaps I drank some koolaid. I gave up chasing those things I once ran so desperately after. And I am despised for that.

I have to embrace who I once was to treasure where I am now. I hear my King ask me again, "Am I enough?"

Yes, Lord. Always. Forever. I just want to run after you.