Growing up, I thought I needed to prove I was someone among everyone around me. To my family, my friends, and my peers-- I needed so badly for them to know that I was something and that I was special. Sometimes even to the point where I thrived in making others feel small so I could feel bigger.
Since Jesus made his love known to me, God has challenged me to surrender all those things I found my identity in-- my grades, my school, my accolades, degrees, money-- whatever I once thought would bring me esteem. Now I am home, with family, friends, and peers. They pity me. I am shamed. They think I'm crazy and reckless. Perhaps I drank some koolaid. I gave up chasing those things I once ran so desperately after. And I am despised for that.
I have to embrace who I once was to treasure where I am now. I hear my King ask me again, "Am I enough?"
Yes, Lord. Always. Forever. I just want to run after you.
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