When I'm tired, I have almost no filter. Or it's like my brain works so much slower, my realization that my thought s  inappropriate comes a few seconds later.

Campus ministry.. my own insecurities come to the surface. Rejection from family, from my peers, even from the students I'm whole heartedly serving. So I must fix my gaze once again on God. He is the one I serve, not my students. He is the one who accepts me, who desires my whole being.

Lord, what is this crown you've placed over my head. It is a crown of shame, of failure, of loss, yet to you, you made it a crown of honor, of glory, of victory.

Each day I feel like I die more and more. As I die, may God manifest in those dead places in me, bringing forth life. I accept this crown, and I am dying. My self is dying.