God puts passion in our hearts and made us each unique.  What is mine, Lord? Kids, social justice, aviation?

"What do you like to do?"

I don't do such things anymore.

Vision

During the Urbana missions conference,  I had a vision in my heart that the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior was preached on the streets of Chicago Chinatown in the tongue of the Toisan people. That the middle-aged chinamen and near-retirement ah-Pohh's would learn about the love of Jesus even though for the remainder of their lives they'd expect to only know smelly big vans and Chinese-American restaurants of surburbia.

Spread Thin

For a long time I felt like I was half-assing life. What am I doing? For school, for flight, for friendships, for ministry, for God. Paycheck by paycheck, God gives me sufficiency. But for school, I study as last minute as I can, as little as I can. For flight, the same. For ministry, I do only when I'm told to do. I feel like I have no time to invest in friendships. For God and me. I feel God reaching out to me. I do.

I also see a friend who is completely halfassing life, and it reflects it on her grades, in her relationships, in her health, her mood, her energy, her life. I thought I was doing a good job a hiding my halfassingness, but nope, I'm just as bad.  God wants everything, not just halfass. I need to stop

This world has nothing for me (4x)

I need you Jesus come to my rescue
where else can I go?
there's no other name by which I am saved
capture me with grace

my parents bought me a car

I remember on our last night, this small child I played with yesterday gently tapped my shoulder and asked in Spanish, "Chinita, are we playing again later?" Smiling back, "Sorry, we are going to leave tonight" He looked at me pouty faced like he knew despair. i'm sorry kid, for coming and playing with you like I wasn't going to leave

I wish I was seven year old. I wish I was home, pouring tea for my grandpa. I wish I could've told my grandma I loved her. I wish I had treated her better. I miss those bruises on my legs, that bowl cut. I miss running around in the sun. I miss playing in the dirt until it got dark and cold.  I miss my mom and I miss my dad. I miss everyone I love in Chicago. I miss sitting in my dad's car. I miss putting bubble suds on flipped over cups at Ho Luck. I miss it