I need God more than I need air. I need God. I need Him. I need my heavenly Father.

Last two weeks I spent maybe 3 nights at home. Everywhere else that wasn't home made me feel guilty because I left my family waiting for me. I felt like a terrible daughter for not spending the summer home with my parents who miss me to death. Now I'm home, and I don't want to be. Parts of it are so beautiful and sad, parts of it are so ugly and evil. I know Chicago isn't my home anymore. I'm pretty certain God doesn't want me to stay here.

I don't want to be home to see the ugliness. I don't want to be away form home and feel guilty. I don't know where my future leads. I don't know if aviation is where God's called me to be. I don't know if I like flying anymore. I don't know if I could do it anymore. I don't know if there is any passion for it left. I feel like a liar, like I lied to everyone when I told them I loved aviation, I wanted to be a pilot. I have no idea! But if this is God's way of telling me I'm in the wrong field, then by God's great name, I'm leaving it. I seriously have no idea. Prayer for peace, for faith.