Today I got a 98% on my econ exam. I feel so embarrassed. I wanted 110%
Two days ago I got a 93% on my anthropology exam. I hated it. I wanted at least 95%
Over the summer when I realized my GPA was 3.7, I contemplated transferring universities so my Flight classes wouldn't transfer over and my GPA would be 4.0
it's not going to matter in heaven.
The idea in the minds of everyone against my choice in social work is that my skill sets are capable of "greater" callings. Most with genuine interest for my well-being warn me that I might starve or come to hate my life after 3-years of a soul-sucking human services career path. "Why are you doing social work? Are you bad at math and science?" my old supervisor said.
Also in my friendships with international students, I learned that for many school systems, students take a big exam and that score determines what major they can do. So if I score very high I can do physics or science, but if I score not so high, I might do arts or language, etc. wow..
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Met a Boy Yet?
So I didn't know how awkward of a Facebook status this would've been, but I was home this weekend and near the very end my mom giggily asked me if I met a boy yet. I said no very normally, but I felt startled and perhaps a bit repulsed. I never in my life imagined that my mom would be expecting me to date a guy. Maybe she doesn't want me to end up like my gold-digger cousin or my other cousin who feared old age and spinsterhood and married the first guy that came along. Boys exist in my social sphere. If something was supposed to have happened.. it's he, who hasn't met me yet.
Friday, September 6, 2013
I am not your burden, and You are not mine
If I had a daughter, I would name her Cella [chel-uh] Jiang Paternal Name. I would say to Cella Jiang, "My beautiful daughter. You can be anything and I would always love you. You could be a janitor if you really want. As long as I can feel you are glorifying God with your life, I would support you with mine. I will mop the floors alongside you with my wrinkled hands. All because God is what matters most.
You can attend whichever school, work whatever job, earn how ever much money, because I am not your burden and you are not mine. You are my blessing, and my blessing is to show you how our Father has taught me love."
You can attend whichever school, work whatever job, earn how ever much money, because I am not your burden and you are not mine. You are my blessing, and my blessing is to show you how our Father has taught me love."
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Processing
I just came back from InterVarsity (my Christian college fellowship)'s month-long leadership training. I had a lot of hesitations before going, but I don't think I will ever regret that decision. We each had a family group of 6-7 people who are your brothers and sisters and 1-2 who are you parent(s). I never ever thought I would come to love a group so dearly in only a month's time. I've never cried and laughed so hard at the same time in my life than with my family. I've never cried out to God in public as loud as I did in my life than with IVLI (Intervarsity's leadership institute). I've never talked about the topic of masturbation and sex as openly and vulnerably as I experienced this past month.
I think there will always be processing left for IVLI.
to be continued..
I think there will always be processing left for IVLI.
to be continued..
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Knocked on My Door
Maybe two saturdays ago, Jehovah's witnesses were unleashed onto my neighborhood, haunting all the doors of confused and regretful old Chinese folk.
I read somewhere before, while there are differences within Christianity, we should never have an open debate against another Christian denomination in the presence of non-Christians. And I know better. Faith is great, but the peculiarities drive people mad and sometimes the original intentions can be completely forgotten. Two Saturdays ago, there was a knock at my door. I nonchalantly went to open the door, and noticed the brown-hair-white-skin head through the transom of our door. Door opened. At this point I didn't even think of Jehovah's witnesses. As the Asian lady next to the white lady spoke to me in mandarin, I noticed suited up white men walking down and up my street with a gladness I suppose. When the Asian lady stopped, I told them I spoke English. They said they were here on a community outreach event, a social program. Then they gave me pamphlets and I read "Jehovah's Witnesses" on the papers. "Oh, you're Jehovah's Witnesses".. why didn't they just say so instead of pretending like they're sent from CASL(an actual local non-profit socio-organization) or something. They confirmed that they were JW's. And I said, "well I'm a Christian and I already go to church here in Chinatown." "We're Christians, too!" the white woman flared back as her eyes widened. "Have you ever wondered why there are so many different denominations?" "...yeah" "and which one is the right one?" She opened her bible to educate me
"Day after day in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ. Acts 5:42"
She continued, "Don't you think the ones who follow after Jesus' example as displayed here are the true followers?"
"I'm sure God knows"
"Yes, He does" she snapped back.
"God bless, bye bye now"
Today these two black women came to my door while I was in the bathroom. It was already at least 5 minutes, but they were still there. my dad didn't want to open the door, not because he is shy, but because it's annoying. So we watched them from the window. They finally leave our stoop, and uh-oh.. my uncle was just walking by.. they talk to him for several minutes and gave him papers and got into their van. So they didn't go to any other houses, JUST OURS. and while driving away, I noticed the Asian lady from two weeks ago driving the van. Wow.. just wow.. I really felt like while they talked to me they talked to me as if I was the devil incarnate. Now they sent back-up to come to MY HOUSE, no one else's. I feel lots of things from them-upset, confounded, judged- just not loved like by Christ.
The true example of Jesus-following, I don't necesarily think is knocking on people's doors. Honestly, I think Jesus and his disciples actually got to KNOW the people. They took the time to know their concerns. Those women didn't even give me their names. Maybe they forgot, but I think Jesus lives with and among his people. I think Jesus would be at the bars, the night clubs, the sketchy dunkin donuts, the BP gas stations, the places the "good" people would never go, but would label and discriminate against. He would go to the projects of Chicago, the gang-ridden communities and he would show them love. Maybe that could begin with a piece of paper. But to call other denominations false because I don't knock of people's doors? Are you kidding me? I think God knows. I'm grateful for their faith for God, but I don't know about the method. I know God makes even the worst of situations, even cults, into glory-revealing situations. Ah.. I really don't care for JW's
I read somewhere before, while there are differences within Christianity, we should never have an open debate against another Christian denomination in the presence of non-Christians. And I know better. Faith is great, but the peculiarities drive people mad and sometimes the original intentions can be completely forgotten. Two Saturdays ago, there was a knock at my door. I nonchalantly went to open the door, and noticed the brown-hair-white-skin head through the transom of our door. Door opened. At this point I didn't even think of Jehovah's witnesses. As the Asian lady next to the white lady spoke to me in mandarin, I noticed suited up white men walking down and up my street with a gladness I suppose. When the Asian lady stopped, I told them I spoke English. They said they were here on a community outreach event, a social program. Then they gave me pamphlets and I read "Jehovah's Witnesses" on the papers. "Oh, you're Jehovah's Witnesses".. why didn't they just say so instead of pretending like they're sent from CASL(an actual local non-profit socio-organization) or something. They confirmed that they were JW's. And I said, "well I'm a Christian and I already go to church here in Chinatown." "We're Christians, too!" the white woman flared back as her eyes widened. "Have you ever wondered why there are so many different denominations?" "...yeah" "and which one is the right one?" She opened her bible to educate me
"Day after day in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ. Acts 5:42"
She continued, "Don't you think the ones who follow after Jesus' example as displayed here are the true followers?"
"I'm sure God knows"
"Yes, He does" she snapped back.
"God bless, bye bye now"
Today these two black women came to my door while I was in the bathroom. It was already at least 5 minutes, but they were still there. my dad didn't want to open the door, not because he is shy, but because it's annoying. So we watched them from the window. They finally leave our stoop, and uh-oh.. my uncle was just walking by.. they talk to him for several minutes and gave him papers and got into their van. So they didn't go to any other houses, JUST OURS. and while driving away, I noticed the Asian lady from two weeks ago driving the van. Wow.. just wow.. I really felt like while they talked to me they talked to me as if I was the devil incarnate. Now they sent back-up to come to MY HOUSE, no one else's. I feel lots of things from them-upset, confounded, judged- just not loved like by Christ.
The true example of Jesus-following, I don't necesarily think is knocking on people's doors. Honestly, I think Jesus and his disciples actually got to KNOW the people. They took the time to know their concerns. Those women didn't even give me their names. Maybe they forgot, but I think Jesus lives with and among his people. I think Jesus would be at the bars, the night clubs, the sketchy dunkin donuts, the BP gas stations, the places the "good" people would never go, but would label and discriminate against. He would go to the projects of Chicago, the gang-ridden communities and he would show them love. Maybe that could begin with a piece of paper. But to call other denominations false because I don't knock of people's doors? Are you kidding me? I think God knows. I'm grateful for their faith for God, but I don't know about the method. I know God makes even the worst of situations, even cults, into glory-revealing situations. Ah.. I really don't care for JW's
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